All I Ask
by NCIS Obsession
Summary: One-Shot. Takes place in Israel before Tony leaves Ziva. Based on the song "All I Ask" by Adele. TIVA, obviously. "Hold me like I'm more than just a friend."


**The other day I heard this song ("All I Ask" by Adele) and I instantly thought of Tony and Ziva, so of course I had to base a fanfiction off of it. Not to mention my recent excitement over the fact that Michael Weatherly tweeted about his belief that Ziva is alive and his willingness to return to NCIS when the time is right a couple days ago. My NCIS Obsession is LIVING.**

 **Maybe I'll write a Tiva reunion fanfic soon in honor of that happy little tidbit, but this one is not quite so heartwarming.**

 **I wrote it differently than I usually do, which was a bit awkward for me to get used to but this way worked better for the story. Hopefully it turned out nicely. You'll have to let me know.**

 **This takes place while Tony is in Israel before leaving Ziva. Kind of fills in the blanks a little.**

 **Enjoy!**

" _All I ask is  
If this is my last night with you  
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend  
Give me a memory I can use  
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do  
It matters how this ends  
'Cause what if I never love again?"_

 _~"All I Ask" by Adele_

"Tony."

Her voice is low and soft. It sounds almost intrusive in the comfortable silence that had fallen on the Israeli farmhouse. He can sense her standing behind him, can almost see her. Wild curls loose around her shoulders and hands resting on her hips, waiting for him to say something, anything.

But what else is there to say? Any words he could have spoken to convince her to come home with him have already been said.

 _I'm fighting for you, Ziva._

She knows. But it doesn't change her mind.

She is broken…

And so is he.

The sun is setting. It's beautiful, he thinks. The cool evening air brushes his skin and when he closes his eyes it feels like the moment could last forever. If only.

But no. The sun will go down, and a new day will rise, no matter how much he wishes it wouldn't. Because he knows there's no tomorrow. Not really, anyway.

He breathes in a shuddering breath, feeling a lump forming in his throat. It seems with each inch the sun sets, a cold, heavy feeling presses harder on his chest.

"What time does your flight leave?" Ziva asks solemnly, not daring to take a step closer to Tony. She knows he needs space right now. He could not accept that she needed to stay. To heal.

When he still doesn't respond, she wonders if he'd heard her.

"Please don't do this, Ziva." It's just a whisper, but she hears it loud and clear.

She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "We have already discussed this, Tony. You know what I must do. Why I must stay—"

"I'm not talking about that," Tony interrupts, finally turning to face her. Ziva sees the tears in his eyes, not for the first time since he had arrived, and every time feels like daggers to her heart. She knows that she is the cause of his pain. "Don't make me think about tomorrow," he chokes out, shaking his head. "I can't think about it right now."

Ziva steps tentatively toward him, concern written all over her face. Tony's eyes are fixed on her, watching closely as she nears him, but he doesn't move a muscle. She finally stops, inches away from him, so close that she can see the redness of his eyes and the streaks of wetness on his cheeks.

His watery eyes meet hers, the pain and hurt so evident in his gaze. She cautiously places her hand on his face, softly brushing a tear from his eye.

A jolt of electricity runs through his body as soon as her skin touches his. His jaw clenches shut and his gaze turns hollow, emotionless.

"We will be okay, Tony," Ziva reassures, but he sharply shakes his head no. He doesn't want to hear it. Ziva moves both arms to wrap around Tony's neck, but again, he remains motionless. As she begins to lean in for a kiss, he abruptly turns around and stands a few feet away, watching the sun set on the Israeli countryside.

Hurt and confused, Ziva moves to stand beside him, giving him space once again.

"Let's just pretend," Tony says after a moment's silence, his gaze fixed on the descending ball of light in the sky.

Ziva tilts her head to look at the man before her. She can see that he is lost in thought, but she doesn't understand. "What?" she asks.

"Pretend. That nothing is changing. That we are just friends. That tomorrow will be no different than the past 8 years." Tony's voice is flat. "Let's just pretend," he repeats.

The sun has almost completely set by now. Tony's words echo through Ziva's mind, and she feels a tear drip down her cheek.

"I am tired of pretending," she says, turning to face Tony and grabbing his attention. These words had been said before.

Tony gives her a look like he might give in, but he tears himself away again. "No. NO," he says firmly, and Ziva wonders if he's scolding himself or her. "I can't do this. We can't do this." He paces back and forth in the grass, shaking his head and running his hand anxiously through his hair. "I can't do this because tomorrow, Ziva, tomorrow I'm gone." He stops directly in front of her and grabs her shoulders, hoping she understands what has been tormenting him for the last few hours, ever since they had buried that "I Will" list in the grove.

Ziva pulls him back to her and her eyes meet his again. Almost instantly his pulse slows and he calms down, still breathing heavily. "I'm scared," he admits, his voice breaking with sorrow. "I'm scared of going home without you. Of living a life that doesn't include you."

Several moments pass as stars begin to dot the sky. "So hold me, Tony," Ziva whispers desperately, her loving eyes recognizing the same affection reflected in Tony's.

He knows that leaving will hurt worse if he gives in, but he can't hold himself back any longer. He had tried, as painful as it had been, but no more. He wanted this one last chance.

"Hold me while I'm here," she says.

 _While I still can_ , Tony thinks. And with that, their lips come crashing together. They could pretend they were just friends, but both of them would know the truth. It was inescapable. Undeniable.

And it had nearly been too late.

As they kiss, Tony knows it will not change her mind, but he needs to say it. When they part, he breathes "I love you," with tears in his eyes and a sad smile on his lips.

Even though he knows it is the last night they will be together, Tony allows himself to pour his heart into every kiss, every touch, giving her every bit of affection he had longed to give her since he had fallen madly in love with her so many years ago.

The future still scares him, but he can't think about that now. Right now, he focuses his mind on remembering every tiny detail, because this memory has to last forever. If it doesn't, he knows he won't survive.

This is it.

His last love. His last kiss. Because the future is nothing without her.

This is how he wants to remember her. For all of eternity this moment will be on replay in his mind, until one day, maybe, she will return.

As the sun peeks up above the horizon, a new day begins.

Although, to two people in love, it really feels like something has just ended.

 **I've been really struggling to get in the groove of writing again. I read some super awesome NCIS fics this week and was hoping I might improve my writing by reading theirs, but I don't know if it worked. I always feel repetitive and like I have too many commas or something.**

 **IDK, ever since high school English class sucked all creativity from my writing, I've just been super un-confident in what I write, so I'd really appreciate some feedback.**

 **Thank you all so much for reading. I can't tell you how much it means to know there are people out there that are interested in my writing (and love NCIS as much as I do).**

 **Till next time,**

 **~NCIS Obsession**

 **(P.S. If anyone makes fan videos, PLEASE make one with this song. I would honestly cry my eyes out. K, thanks)**


End file.
